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中考高分英语作文范例赏析

2009-05-13

  [学生习作A]

  My hobby is read books①。When I was seven years old.I became interested in reading books.I like needing books because there are a lot of useful things in books.I can learn a lot of knowledge from books. Books also② can teach me how to be a good person.Books even can solve many problems for me.I will read more good books to improve myself.

  ①改为reading books,动词作表语时应该用动名词。

  ②also的位置应放在can之后。

  [点评]:档次9-11分。

  ①要点不全,漏掉最后一个要点。

  ②句子基本无误,能正确传递信息给读者但文章不流畅,句子与句子之间过渡不自然,给读者感觉在回答上述问题。

  ③有少量错误。

  [学生习作B]

  My hobby is reading.Reading books is very enjoyable.When I was young ,my mother used to tell me a story before.I went to bed every night.The stories were so interesting that I always felt they weren’t enough.So I began to read books by myself.Little by little I became interested in reading.I can learn much knowledge and many interesting things all over the world.When I read books,I can enjoy the beautiful sentences.At the same time I can improve my writing.I want to be a writer in the future,so I must study hard and read more books so that my dream can come true.

  ①开门见山、点题。

  ②真情流露,理由充分。

  ③文中带圈的连词使用得恰当,使文章过渡自然、

  ④巧妙使用句型以表决心。

  [点评]:档次13-14分。

  ①清楚表达写作目的,要点齐全。

  ②语言表达灵活多样,字里行间流露出真情实感,文章有感染力。

  ③恰当使用连词和从句,语言流畅,且无错误,是一篇高质量的作文。

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