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中考英语写作精彩点评与修改(三)

2009-04-02

  刘晓伟老师—中考英语写作精彩点评与修改(三)
  中考英语作文题三:

  有些人认为中学生看电视是在浪费时间,另一些人则认为看电视对中学生是有益的。请你以Is Watching TV a Waste of Time为题写一篇作文。要点如下:

  1.一些人认为看电视有益,一些人则不这么认为。

  2.你的看法和理由

  学生习作及修改:

  Is Watching TV a Waste of Time

  Some people think “watching TV is good for children”, but others think watching TV is a waste of time.
  From my point of view, television is playing a very important role in our life, so I don’t think watching TV is a waste of time. It can also learn much from it. (We can learn much from it.) Every evening, my grandfather get international news on TV, he wants to know the newest massages of world. (两个句子不能用逗号“,”连接,可以合并: Every evening my grandfather watches international news on TV, who wants to know what is happening around the world.)My mother loves animals, she usually watches Animal World. It’s too interesting. (句子合并:My mother loves animals, who usually watches Animal World. It’s very interesting.) I also can learn English or other languages from some programs.
  Watching TV, I think it is good for us. (I think 作为插入语放在句子的主谓之间。Watching TV, I think, is good to us.) It can help us learn more and more knowledges we never know. (“增加知识”表达成:enrich one’s knowledge (不可数名词), 可以改成:It can help us enrich our knowledge we have never learned.)

  点评:

  写的比第一篇好,开头和结尾经过上课的指导都已经写到位了。问题主要出在第二段,在内容的表达上还有待提高。急需改进的还是句子的问题:简单句合并成状语从句或定语从句的问题。

  中考英语作文陆续修改中:)

  更多高考备考信息资料、专家级试题分析、解题技巧方法,请关注个人主页:
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